2.03.2007

Me & My Shadow

I was a cute ten year old. I wore flowered sundresses with matching knee socks and white sandals. No fashion sense, but still cute! I was a happy kid. Always smiling, always laughing. I loved life. I loved being me.

In the fall of 1974 I had a suprise visitor. Boy was he unexpected! He quickly made himself at home. He stayed, like an unwanted visit from a relative. No matter what I did he wouldn't take the hint that he was no longer welcome.

He was my shadow and never left me alone. I was painfully aware of his presence day and night. My nightmares began before I even went to bed. There would be no escape. I was his prisoner~ sentenced to life.

He was a hard worker. His accomplishments became evident in my twisted little fingers and the prominent limp. I no longer looked like a ten year old. I had more in common with my grandma than I did my cousins.

My parents showered me with love. Not a day went by without hugs and kisses from my mom and dad. I knew I was loved.

My parents taught me respect. I found no reason to show respect to him. He was annoying. He demanded my full attention. He was cruel. He didn't deserve respect.

My parents taught me acceptance. Accept the bad with the good. Learn from it. I knew both my parents had cried over my visitor. Why would they want to accept him into our home? I didn't enjoy his company. The harder I tried to ignore the more he showed himself. I wanted to be victorious.

Fine then! I, Amy, welcome you into my home. From this day forward you and I will be friends and no longer enemies. I will call you Arthur. And Arthur, there is one thing you don't know about me yet. My God is bigger than you will ever be!

When you knock me down, He will pick me right back up. When you make me cry, He will reveal to me all my blessings. When you keep me up at night I will use that time to pray for others. When you try to anger me, He will help me laugh! You will never get the best of me because only God deserves my best.

I'm a cute 42 year old. I wear anything that fits whether it matches or not. I still have no fashion sense! I'm a happy kid. Always smiling, always laughing. I love life. I love being me!

8 comments:

Fiddledeedee (It Coulda' Been Worse) said...

Amen to that sister!!!! You are cute. And you rock!

Heart of Rachel said...

It's a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing it and inspiring people around you.

Christine said...

A very beautiful and inspiring post. Thank you for sharing this.
Words can't express how much reading this means to me.
I agree You ROCK!

Michelle said...

What a wonderful post this was to read today! You go with your 42-yr old cute self! :)

Oh, in reference to Kayla's potty-training - we actually have the poop down! We know when she is about to go and she's been doing that on the toilet for a long time now! It was working on controlling the pee and getting her to tell us when she has to go, instead of us (me!) making sure she goes every 2 hrs!

Heather Smith said...

This is a beautiful post! It shows how God can give us the victory over any situation if only we will let Him!

Carol said...

God can use absolutely anything He chooses to His own glory. In this case, He's used your uninvited guest to Glorify Himself and to bless my day.

Pamela said...

Love it! Love your determination and your will to overcome and tame your shadow, Amy. You are such a wonderful inspiration! You lift me up so much! With all that you have been through and to have such a sweet, loving and kind spirit, a genuine love for life and a heart that just brings so much joy to those all around you. I feel so blessed to have met you and I am proud to call you my friend! You go girl! God shines in you! :)

Janice (5 Minutes for Mom) said...

LOVE you!!!! You are a GEM! Carol from She Lives was just raving about youto me in an email - so I had to rush on over and see who she thought was the cat's meow. And now I understand.

YOU ROCK!!!!

(Totally funny - I wrote you rock and then noticed it in the comments. I guess that just shows that you just ROCK!)